The tradition of getting a fathers permission before marrying their daughter has been a tradition for hundreds of years, dating as far back as the 18th century. Though it was once considered a requirement, the tradition is now seen as a sign of respect and is still carried out all over the world! The moment can often be more daunting than the proposal itself, so we’ve come up with five top tips to help you get through this nerve-wracking conversation.
1) Consider Other Family Members
Although asking the father is tradition, you may need to or want to seek blessing from other family members. Mothers, siblings, grandparents, Aunties and Uncles are all fair game! This will also massively depend on the lifestyles and traditions that your partners family undertake. Is the mother the more dominant family figure, does your partner look-up to a sibling? These are all things to consider. On the other hand, many families will not expect to be asked beforehand, and you may choose to keep this between yourself and your partner.
2) Get Personal
Whoever you choose to ask, don’t be impersonal about it! Take them out for a round of golf, if they enjoy going out for a drink, take them for a beer! You don’t want your future in-law to feel like you’ve not made the effort. By treating them to a special day, you can build up to the question – and they’re more likely to say yes!
3) Share Your Love Story
This is not for everyone, but will definitely help to up your chances of getting their blessing! Maybe tell them about your first date or the first time you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them. By adding a personal touch, your partners family member will feel more involved in what’s going on, and it’s also a great way to lead up to the question! You could also show them the ring to show how much thought and effort you’ve put into starting your life together.
4) Make It Memorable
You might not want to hire a photographer, but it’s great to make a memory with your partners family member that you will both never forget. This will also help to build a relationship between the two of you as well! This could be through a photo of you shaking hands, or recording a special message to be played at the wedding from the both of you!
5) Think About What You’re Going To Say
You’re going to want to sound intentional when asking for your partners family members blessing. Make sure that in everything you say, you convey a sense of trust and respect for the family and don’t ask for permission. Instead, ask for a blessing or the courtesy to marry your partner. Additionally, make sure to let them know your feelings towards your partner and how much you’re looking forward to spending your lives together.